I completely lost my sense of humor when I realized offensive things aren’t funny so now I just rely on heavy sarcasm and everyone thinks I’m a dick
OH MY GOD I FEEL THIS SO DEEPLY
my boyfriend broke up with me and my 80 year old 5 foot tall old indian grandmother told me that there are lots of men. i thought she was going to say “in the sea” but she said “they’re like flies” and made a disgusted face. she hates flies
how is this the best armor for him at the moment
*out for dinner with my dad because we were too lazy to cook*
Random Old Lady:
*comes up out of no where with the most judgmental look ever* (will also be refereed to as 'ROL')
Isn't he a little old for you?
Well, considering he's my Dad, I'd say that your a judgmental hag.
*chokes into his drink*
You should respect your elders.
You should respect your youth, we're the ones who'll decide on whether or not to pull your cord in like, what? Five weeks?
*chokes on his drink again*
*looks at me with a disapproving look*
Come on, you and I both know it will be three weeks.